#114

Over last night, I realized that as long as I know the boy is coming home, no matter how late, I would have trouble sleeping. I’ve told the boy a thousand times that I can’t sleep well without him, but honestly, sometimes even I think I am just bullshitting myself. Only found out last night how true that was. He had to do some overtime work yesterday so he was home late. And I was obviously super tired last night, I was in bed the moment I got back and washed up. Yet, despite me being so tired, I was not able to fall asleep so I found myself in bed using my phone for hours. Till he was home around 9ish pm and came in to the room before 10pm. Still took me awhile to fall asleep because I wanted to talk to him, but still realized that it is true that I can’t sleep well without him.

It was my birthday a few days, it was also me and the boy’s anniversary. I still spent it like any other day, went to work and came back. We didn’t get to go out for our usual extra special date night because he’s on restriction order and he’s not allowed to go out unless for essentials and work. I wonder if it’s age that made me realize that birthdays are not everything. I am just glad to be able to see the boy. Even tho I did get to go out for steamboat dinner, with my sister, a few days before my birthday. So that’s really okay too. Although I am still a little sour that I don’t get to go out with the boy for date night so he said he’ll make it up to me next month.